Primer: Why do some children of privilege squander their wealth away while others succeed and rise up as dynasties? Should you buy your child’s way into a prestigious school? How should we relate to our parents? Let’s find out from Kai Chang in this episode of The 2AM Podcast.
Parenting
All of us have imperfect parents. We are all downstream from our parents
There was a long period of time when we could do nothing and our parents took care of us
Realized that when his parents moved to America, they had to navigate an alien landscape with less money, connections, resources, etc. and somehow had to make do
“It's a humbling feeling that I will never have it as hard as my parents so maybe I should ease off and not be as judgy on the things that in which they dropped the ball.”
- Kai Chang
The Curse Of Successful Parents
Successful parents who grew up poor have the temptation to give their kids everything they never had, which is a terrible mistake
Everyone knows the stereotype of the kid who grew up rich, spent away all their parents’ money, and has nothing to show for in their generation
Some of these parents want to make more money but rationalize it as something they are doing for their kids
If parents do not plan how that money is to be spent, it’s just pure materialism
More important for kids to learn how to screen people and not become soft targets for sociopaths
The reverse (giving your kids nothing) is equally stupid as well. If you can give your kids a loving environment and can afford to unlock doors, it would be a force multiplier for your children
Buying Your Way Into A Prestigious School
His wife’s family bought his wife into a prestigious school, thinking it would benefit her
Because of how competitive the school was, his wife was always getting the middle-tier or slightly below-average grades even though she is objectively intelligent
The important part of being an adult is not just raw performance, but also how one socializes and finds one’s own identity
Good intentions of sending your child to a good school can create some oddly weird results
What’s really needed is deeper relationships with people that will last for decades instead of stacking up credentials
Children Of Privilege
James Gunn High School is across the street from the Stanford campus. Because of its proximity to Stanford, every kid applies to Stanford
Most of the students from James Gunn High School would fail to get into Stanford
Every year, when admission letters are sent out, a large number of suicide attempts happen, even though these students are at the apex of privilege
These students would rather die than consider their number 2 option
What is lost on these kids of privilege is their parents using their financial resources to insulate their children from hurt feelings
When people from the third world look at these individuals, it’s totally unrelatable
The Les Hénokiens
A French society, of which the membership conditions are:
Must be an executive running a family business that is 200 years old or older
Must be a descendant of the original founder
The family must own at least 51% of the company. If it’s a subsidiary of a larger company, it’s no longer eligible
It’s based on the French word for Enoch, a biblical character
There are 54 members right now that are active dues-paying members
Not every child will turn out to be a worthy heir to the business, but these families were able to build a backbench of possible prospects
These are people who have successfully retained wealth in their families and they are worth studying
The Hénokiens have plenty of essays and white papers of family members talking about specific things. Some are internal resources while others are public
The Laird Norton Family
One of the families he enjoyed reading about is the Laird Norton family:
They are in their 7th generation
Twice a year, they have a family gathering where they gather and spend time planning
Every kid, when they are of age, gets a colouring book talking about all their ancestors
In contrast, when a lot of people become successful, they tend to become very cagey about their money and the lessons that they have learned do not get passed down to their children
Genetically, we are going to inherit our parents’ flaws and weaknesses
The more you can learn from them and identify and preemptively avoid some of their mistakes, the more you can make a higher class/calibre of mistakes. This is how you level up generationally
This is what separates the generationally successful and the flash-in-the-pan successes
All information presented above is for educational purposes only and should not be taken as investment advice. Summaries are prepared by The Reading Ape. While reasonable efforts are made to provide accurate content, any errors in interpreting and summarizing the source material are ours alone. We disclaim any liability associated with the use of our content.
Some parents shower their kids with words of affirmation. While others shower their kids with verbal abuse!
It is important to celebrate the good qualities they imparted to us! And shield our loved ones from the trauma/ bad behaviour and break the negative loop!
Kai Chang has really packed on the pounds!